


Give Me the Courage to Escape and Thrive

by DragonsIre



Category: Spartacus Series (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bad BDSM Etiquette, Bondage, Bottom!Nasir, Caesar is his Own Warning, Cop Agron, Dom!Agron, Dom/sub, Domestic Violence, F/M, Gaslighting, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sub Sharing, M/M, Most Rebels Are Cops, Non-con Bloodplay, Non-con Knifeplay, Physical Abuse, RACK - Freeform, Risk Aware Consensual Kink, Safeword Use, Sexual Abuse, Sub!Nasir, Subdrop, Swearing, Tattoo artist Nasir, Top!Caesar, abuse recovery, mentioned fireplay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-18 13:09:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 16,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29858586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonsIre/pseuds/DragonsIre
Summary: Nasir’s been dating his boyfriend and dom Caesar for a year when things start deteriorating, and it's another half year before he ends up in the hospital.
Relationships: Agron/Nasir, Crixus/Naevia, Gannicus/Sibyl, Julius Caesar/Nasir, Mira/Spartacus
Comments: 12
Kudos: 17





	1. Things Just Went A Little Too Far

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, apparently ~40 hours without sleep leads to kinky story outlines for me – who knew? No beta and I have no idea what type of train wreck this is probably gonna end up being but I’m thinking of making it around a half-dozen chapters – first couple to set up and then getting into the subspace and sexy times in chapter 3 or 4 and on.  
> I am by no means saying that bloodplay or knifeplay are inherently bad (I’m a big fan of RACK), I simply chose them because they can easily be used to explain Nasir’s canonical scars in a modern AU using BDSM. I’ll add tags as I introduce more things in each chapter so PLEASE HEED THE TAGS! If this isn’t your cup of tea, please click the back button now. If you see something that is not tagged but should be, PLEASE let me know - I don't want to accidentally cause someone distress.  
> I have no ownership of the characters; I’m just entertaining myself and hopefully others.

There were murmurs just out of earshot, Nasir’s head throbbing as he tried to distinguish individual words that were too far away to begin with, and he groaned quietly, knowing that Dominus would be upset if he made too much noise when he wasn’t there to enjoy it.

“You can’t just enter my home!” Dominus was close by, and Nasir weakly tugged at the ropes, hand searching for his master’s. “You know our tastes – he agreed to it!”

“Deal with Nasir. I’ll handle him and call an ambulance.” Dominus’s voice got quieter as a woman spoke, and there was a brief scuffle of shoes on wood before silence.

He was surprised when gentle, callused hands took hold of his wrists, stilling his movements as they unwound the bindings. Nasir was having a hard time making out the person above him, eyes not quite focusing where they needed to, but the coloring was off for it to be Dominus. “Hey Nasir. How are you feeling?”

Dominus got upset earlier when Nasir spoke, so he tried to shake his head, nearly throwing up as every bit of his upper body screamed at him to not do it again. Nasir let the dark fuzziness spread, relaxing before being pulled from it abruptly.

“Nasir?” The man above him snapped his fingers, making Nasir whimper. “I need you to speak up if you can.”

It took a few more moments for Nasir to pull himself together enough to respond, conflicted between disobeying Dominus or doing as the new man asked. “Dominus-?”

“He’s not here right now Nasir, just me. You’ll be good for me, right?”

“Yes Master.” It was easy to slip into obeying another – Dominus had trained him in it early on.

“I’m going to put your hands on a towel and I want you to hold it tight to your side. Alright?” He didn’t wait for Nasir to respond, pressure sending a sharp pain that had Nasir’s hand scrambling to intervene before the words registered, and Nasir forced his hands to still and do as directed.

His voice sounded familiar to Nasir, but he couldn’t place it as he tilted his head slightly, feeling Nasir’s split skin near his eye.

“Does this hurt?”

“Yes Master.” Nasir couldn’t stop himself from continuing, too foggy and tired. “Not good hurt.”

“I wouldn’t think so. I’m going to untie your legs. Just stay still, alright?”

“Yes Master.” Master’s hands were warm, warding against the chill left behind by Dominus’ departure, and quick removing the other set of rope, though Nasir didn’t move. Once done, Master returned to Nasir’s line of sight, taking over the pressure on his side and asking him questions about how he was feeling until other men arrived, their hands much colder where they touched him.

* * * * *

Nasir was thankful he’d been too forgetful to update his emergency contact in the last year when he woke up in a stark white hospital room and the first person he saw was Naevia. He was surprised to find his hospital room packed with her husband Crixus as well as Mira and someone Nasir couldn’t remember having met, and Nasir nearly asked the doctor if he was hallucinating. It had been almost a year since the last time he had spent any length of time with his friends, and maybe it was the concussion and blood loss making everything more, but he quickly began to cry, biting his lip to keep quiet at the relief of them being there.

Mira kicked the guys out, saying something about “not your case” to them, while Naevia held Nasir as much as she could while being careful of the large swatch of bandages across his torso.

“What happened?”

“It was my fault – I shouldn’t have – We had rules –“ Surprisingly it was Mira who silenced him, taking his hand and shushing him.

“The doctor told Naevia you have a severe concussion and you were slashed up on your chest. Whatever happened is not on you Nasir.”

Nasir kept his eyes fixed on Naevia while he caught his breath, trying to put all the pieces together to make sense, and pointedly didn’t look away as he tried again. “Caesar and I, we were doing a scene. I wanted to stop, and I should’ve known better – Caesar was having fun, and we weren’t at the club…”

“You gave your safeword?” Naevia knew Nasir had been in and out of the life for half a decade, having even gone to a few club events with him before she started dating Crixus. Nasir didn’t respond, closing his eyes. “Nasir, did he react badly when you used your safeword to stop the scene?”

“Yeah.” He rubbed at the tear trails on his cheeks, nose crinkling when he felt a twinge in his side at the movement.

“What the fuck.” Mira’s voice had him shivering, leaning closer to Naevia. Nasir had never hidden his proclivities, but he hadn’t gone out of his way to share them with Mira either. “That sick bastard did this because you wanted to stop? This is the guy you’ve been dating for the last year and a half?”

“He’s not always-“

“He’s not always sending you to the hospital when you want to stop a scene? How gracious of him.” She was getting worked up, apparently only upset about Caesar and not Nasir, and it was Naevia’s soft coos to try to keep Nasir calm as his heartrate monitor began picking up that had Mira taking a breath and pausing. “He had no right to do that. You were his sub, right? Fucker shouldn’t be allowed to be a dom.”

“Slave.” Nasir nearly cowered under their glares, free hand reaching up to brush the space on his neck that would have been covered by a collar. “Caesar – he was pushing for a 24/7 slave contract.”

“Isn’t that one of your hard limits?” It only took a few moments of silence from the two terrifying women in the room for him to nod hesitantly, causing Naevia to swear quietly.

“You’re not going back there unless it’s to kill him. Crixus and Spartacus will get anything you want back.” At his questioning look, Naevia extrapolated. “Spartacus is the other man who was here. He’s dating Mira and works as a Lieutenant at the Twenty-Third precinct with Crixus.”

There was a knock on the door that drew their attention, Mira shifting to hide a bit more of Nasir behind her. “Yes?”

A nurse popped her head in. “We heard that Nasir had woken up again. There are police officers here to speak with him if he’s feeling up to it.”

“Again? I don’t remember waking before.”

“Memory gaps aren’t uncommon with a concussion. Would you like to speak with the doctor again before the police?”

Nasir only barely kept himself from shaking his head. “No, I’ll speak with them now.”

“You can go on in.” The two cops that walked in immediately made the room feel half the size, both familiar to the group inside.

“Agron? Why are you and Saxa here?”

“You know them?” Nasir cut the police officers off before they could answer Mira’s question as his grip on Naevia’s arm tightened considerably and his head ducked slightly with his discomfort evident to everyone.

“They’re friends with Spartacus and Crixus. Same precinct though they’re in domestic violence investigations. But the hospital’s outside their jurisdiction.” Mira was eying them suspiciously, briefly looking through the still open door to glance at Spartacus in the hallway.

“The apartment where he was attacked is within our jurisdiction.” Saxa growled, obviously not happy about being questioned by a Lieutenant’s girlfriend.

“How are you feeling?” Agron bypassed Saxa and Mira, instead moving to stand at the hospital bedside across from Naevia.

“I’m not pressing charges.”

“Seriously!” This time Mira wasn’t alone in her anger, joined by both Naevia and the cops.

“Why don’t you two wait outside while we talk with Nasir?”

Naevia stood, releasing Nasir and tapping Mira and Saxa both on the shoulder as she made her way out. “I’ll wait with them Agron.”

Nasir’s hands were fisted in the sheet across his lap before the door even closed behind Saxa, refusing to meet Agron’s eye. It wasn’t the first time Agron had seen Nasir bruised and bloody, having been called to his and Caesar’s apartment multiple times over the course of the last six months when scenes got out of hand or Nasir’s attempts at negotiations were taken poorly and Caesar felt it necessary to reassert his position. It had unfortunately gotten to the point that the two were on a first name basis. “I’m not going to press charges Agron. Things just got away from me.”

“Bullshit. Come on Nasir, I’ve been called to domestics at your place five times in half a year, and every time you protect him.”

“I explained what happened. Sometimes scenes get out of hand.”

Agron snorted, sitting down in the chair as if to make himself a smaller presence. “Saxa had to call the ambulance when he finally opened the door enough for us to see blood and give us probable cause to enter the apartment. You likely would have died Nasir. Did you agree to being stabbed? Because from what I know that isn’t what BDSM is about.”

“Caesar likes bloodplay.”

“That’s not what I asked Nasir. Did you agree to him stabbing you in the side?” Nasir’s shoulders curled in, his jaw clenching when Agron shifted, trying to force his attention. “Or slamming your head into the dining table hard enough to knock you out? Did you agree to that?”

“No, of course not but-“

“No buts Nasir!” His flinch had Agron lowering his voice, guilt creeping in. In the months Nasir had known Agron, he’d never yelled at him – instead taking a softer tone during their interactions while Saxa detained Caesar in another room. The first time Saxa had tried to interview Nasir, but Agron had nearly ended up attacking Caesar so the following calls had Agron handling Nasir. “I’m no expert in BDSM, but this can be categorized as domestic abuse and assault with a deadly weapon, possibly attempted murder. Saxa and I know enough based on the scene, the call log, and your current and historical injuries to request the D.A. file charges without your compliance, but I don’t want you to feel like more choices are being taken away from you. You can make a statement to me now and decide later if you wish to pursue it.”

“What would happen to him?”

“Caesar is being detained right now. If you press charges then he’ll be arrested and, unless he takes a plea, he could get anywhere between four and twenty years given your wounds if he’s found guilty.” Nasir ran his hands through his hair, trying to figure out what to do with his head still pounding and Agron just sitting there watching him, looking for all the world like the most impatient man attempting to remain still.

“Agron,” Saxa opened the door, calling him over and giving Nasir a moment to breath and think. He was pretty sure he heard Saxa mention ‘safeword’ but there was a ringing in his ears that was making it hard to pick out all the words so he couldn’t be certain, and after a moment Nasir laid back, resting his arm across his eyes to block out the light. Concussions serious sucked – he felt like he’d run a marathon instead of talking for a little while, and the hospital lights were enough that even through his eyelids it was like staring straight at the sun.

A soft set of fingers brushing along his forearm a few minutes later had Nasir starting, half asleep and head aching as he tried to place his whereabouts. Agron was standing over him worriedly, jaw tight as he watched Nasir try to settle, the heartrate monitor having spiked before returning to only a slightly elevated rate. “You ok Nasir?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.”

“So, what do you think?”

“About what?” Nasir had a nagging at the back of his mind, that he was supposed to be making a big decision, but he couldn’t quite catch the thought’s thread.

“Making a statement about what happened with Caesar last night? Even if you don’t pursue charges?” Agron sat down again, the concern never leaving his face. “Maybe it’s best if we do this another time. The doctor said you could have issues with recall.”

Nasir hummed, looking out through the small window in the door to where Crixus was hugging Naevia like her life depended on it and Mira was chewing on her nails, a habit she’d knocked back in college. They looked like they’d been through hell, the areas below their eyes dark and Naevia’s nose red from rubbing at it, and Crixus and Spartacus both had glowers that Nasir knew on Caesar meant he was in for a rough scene. The four of them were there, two of whom he’d barely contacted in months, and the other who were near or indeed strangers, all enraged, for him, and that made his decision. “I’ll make a statement, but no charges. Not now, Agron.”

He definitely wasn’t happy about it by the way his hand clenched on his thigh, but Agron nodded, moving to retrieve his recorder. “This is Officer Agron Bauer interviewing Nasir Karimi in room 201 of the Westside Hospital regarding the events of February 22nd, 2021, leading to the neighbor’s emergency call and subsequent arrival of Officers Agron Bauer and Saxa Dreyer at the residence of Nasir Karimi and Julius Caesar. Nasir, do you consent to being recorded?”

“Yes.”

“The interview is commenced at 13:52 on February 23rd, 2021. Can you take me through the evening?” Agron’s voice immediately softened with the formalities out of the way, but Nasir was already on edge.

“Caesar came home, and we were doing a scene and it – it was too much, it hurt, and I wanted to stop, and – and – and-“ Nasir’s breaths were too fast – he couldn’t get any air into his lungs and he curled forward, hissing when it tugged on the stitches in his side.

“Let’s take it a little slower Nasir. Come on, deep breaths; try to match mine.” Agron had certainly done this hundreds of times as an officer responding to domestic abuse calls, keeping a calm air about him, and not touching Nasir as he slowly settled. “Better?”

He nodded, trying to sort his thoughts out to keep from running on like he had before. “Caesar came home, and he’d had a rough day at work, so he wanted to do a scene to let off some steam after dinner. I cleared the plates while he went to get things, and-“

Nasir met Agron’s eyes, forcing himself to not look away. He wasn’t going to let some cop make him feel like it was wrong to be into BDSM – not that Agron ever had, but this was the first time he was giving a detailed statement that could be used to charge Caesar. “Caesar used ropes to tie me to the dining table. We have set rules about what we can do to one another during scenes. Rope bondage is on both of our approved lists, but knife and bloodplay are soft limits for me, meaning that I want to talk each time before we do it. Sometimes I’ll agree and sometimes I won’t.”

“Did you agree to knife and bloodplay on the evening in question?”

“No. We didn’t talk about it before starting the scene.”

Agron waited a few moments to see if Nasir would continue on his own before prompting him. “What happened after Caesar tied you up?”

“He had his knife set off to the side behind some of our toys. When he got out one of the knives, I told him I wasn’t up to it and that I had work the next day.” Nasir shuddered his way through a breath, twisting fingers in the hospital sheet again, letting his gaze drop to the recorder in Agron’s hand. “I should’ve said Tiberius or red right then, but I didn’t think we were far enough into the scene for him to dismiss my request.”

“Tiberius?”

“My safeword – most people use the stoplight system and a personal word that ends the scene immediately.” Agron was nodding before he was even halfway through his explanation, and Nasir briefly wondered just how much about BDSM Agron actually knew. “I didn’t use it though, and the first few cuts were shallow and could be easily hidden, so I thought at least he was being conscious about my work. He likes to make little designs with the blade and the blood, and he was doing that so I didn’t think it was going to turn into much more, at least not with the knife. Then he started cutting deeper – usually we only do that on my back, around my shoulder – and I knew he needed the scene, but it hurt, and I was worried he’d go too deep, and I – I, he didn’t – I said yellow – I just wanted him to back off a bit.”

Nasir saw Agron’s hand had tightened considerably around the poor recorder, the plastic and metal stick looking like it would break if placed under any more pressure. Wetting his lips, Nasir glanced up to see Agron was still wearing the calm mask from before. “Can I have a moment?”

“Interview suspended at 14:16.” The moment the recorder clicked off, the mood in the room changed. Nasir felt like he could breathe again, and Agron was fidgeting in his seat. “Can I get you a cup of water?”

“Yeah, yeah, that would be great.” Agron also brought over an apple and jello cup for Nasir from the hospital tray, but at his insistence ate the apple himself, with Nasir stating that simply the idea of chewing made his head hurt more. After their snack, Nasir gestured to the recorder. “You need the rest, don’t you?”

“If you’re not up to it, we can wait. Concussions are no joke.”

“Suffered a lot of them yourself?”

“My brother Duro more than I, but I’ve sustained a couple over the years.” A sadness crept into his voice as he spoke of his brother, causing Nasir to fear he had overstepped.

“Apologies, I didn’t mean-“

“Do not apologize for what you could not know. He was a cop too. We were working a B&E when he got shot and I transferred to domestics. He’s been in a coma for the last few years.”

“Apologies still. It must be hard.”

Agron nodded his agreement, reaching for the recorder once more and shifting his chair to sit slightly closer to Nasir’s bedside. “Interview with Nasir Karimi resuming at 14:29 on February 23rd, 2021. After you said ‘yellow’, what did Caesar do?”

“He made some crack about me using the stoplight system and how we weren’t at the club. Caesar kept cutting, and there was one that hurt a hell of a lot more than the rest, and he got really happy thumbing at it, making it bleed more, until I started crying and saying ‘Tiberius’. He cut deeper on the next one, but that could have been because I was moving around.” Without thinking about it, Nasir’s hand drifted down to press against the thickest wrapping on his chest, across his lower left ribs.

“Caesar, he told me to shut up – that I was making a fuss over nothing and I was supposed to be his good little sub. He was holding my jaw and I think I bit him when he tried to kiss me because I remember he hit me and knocked my head back into the table. After that things get fuzzy.” Nasir felt doubt settling in his stomach, certain that he was the one who was making too big of a deal out of it now that he spoke aloud. Despite his friends’ concern, and Agron’s concerns, he couldn’t help thinking that he had been the one out of line, having failed in his duties as a sub to please his dominant, and now by making a statement that could cause Caesar more trouble.

“Would you mind answering a few specific questions?”

“Alright.” Nasir knew this was going to be hell, but Agron had seen him tied up, naked, and apparently bleeding out already so how much more exposed could he be?

“You mentioned toys – could you elaborate?”

“Caesar had brought out some plugs, clamps and I think one of our paddles.”

“And the part about it possibly turning into something more?”

“Usually we have sex during scenes. Not all dom/sub relationships do, but it’s part of our contract.”

“Did he force you into having sex?”

“No.”

“You said Caesar didn’t stop cutting and end the scene when you gave your safeword?”

“He didn’t.”

“Did you consent to being hit by Caesar during your scene?”

“Not like that.” Nasir wanted to swear himself out for saying that immediately, knowing Agron would have to dig into it.

Agron looked just as reluctant. “I have to ask for clarification, what were the limits of the consent you provided for Caesar to strike you?”

“Nothing that would leave a mark on my face or neck, and no closed fists were our standard.” His voice sounded muted to himself and a chill was making its way up his arms. Pulling the sheet up a bit more, Nasir desperately wished for a blanket or hoody to wrap himself up in. It was bad enough that he wasn’t wearing a shirt, but at least before he hadn’t been cold.

“And last night?”

“We didn’t talk about doing anything that went beyond our standard contract rules. That applies to everything.” The last bit came out harsher than he intended, causing the pit in his stomach to grow. Fuck it all, Agron was just trying to help, and Nasir had to go and snap at him for doing his damn job, and after he had been kind and as non-judgmental as possible the entire time. “Apologies.”

“You don’t need to apologize Nasir. Is that the first time Caesar has not stopped when you asked him to, either straight out or through the use of an agreed upon safeword or system?”

“Nothing worth mentioning.”

“Is there anything else you want to include?”

“No. That’s it.”

“Would you be able and willing to provide a copy of the contract you had with Julius Caesar regarding scene rules to be kept with your statement?”

That gave Nasir pause – it was bad enough that he’d had to talk about this with Agron, but to provide him the contract? So he could see every kink spelled out, their supposed safeword system, their scene schedule and negotiations? Surely Agron had encountered a hell of a lot worse than what Nasir had been through, but to see it all written down, to see it **signed**? How would that change Agron’s perception next time he got a call to a house; the next time the neighbor’s called on him and Caesar? But maybe seeing what they’d agreed – the lengths that they’d gone to in making a set list of what was and wasn’t allowed, maybe it would be better than just hearing about it in the somewhat abstract and making assumptions. “It’s not a legal contract.”

“Perhaps not, but it demonstrates that you two previously discussed what you would be comfortable with and could indicate Caesar willfully ignored your requests last night.”

Nasir bit his lip before nodding. “Ok; I’ll send it to you.”

“Interview concluded at 14:47.” Agron clicked off the recorder, sitting back with a sigh as Nasir tried to burrow further into his hospital bed and find some warmth. “The hard part’s over unless you chose to press charges Nasir. You did good.”

“I wouldn’t be here if I ‘did good’.” Nasir murmured, clenching his jaw to keep his teeth from chattering. When Agron stood, heading to the door, Nasir just took it as further confirmation that he’d failed, even when trying to do what his friends and the cop had wanted. He went to roll over, immediately hissing when it tugged on his stitches and he had to lay back. Nasir was surprised when Agron reappeared only a few minutes later with a thick blanket, which he laid across Nasir’s lap, even tucking it in slightly around him, before handing him another jello and spoon. “What-?”

“You were good Nasir. Really good. You told Caesar you didn’t want to do a harder scene; you used your words; you were a good sub. That fucking prick doesn’t deserve to be your dominant.”

Agron’s venom shocked a laugh out of Nasir, followed by another hissed breath. “Are you allowed to say that as a cop?”

“Hey, listen to me. I’m serious. What he did – that’s inexcusable. You don’t deserve to be treated like that.” He seemed to be weighing his next words carefully as he shifted Nasir’s new blanket, folding the excess that hung over the sides to cover his legs in an additional layer. “Maybe I’m not talking as a cop right now. Or at least, not just as an officer. I know you’re close with Mira and Naevia – the fucking Gaul couldn’t stop talking about how his girl’s best friend Nasir pulled a vanishing act but I didn’t want to spread any of your secrets, so I didn’t tell him, and neither did Spartacus when he saw the call logs. You deserve a hell of a lot more than someone who treats you like Caesar did, and I’m worried about what could happen if you go back to him. Now eat your jello; I don’t want you dropping more.”

Nasir obediently ate a spoonful, eyes on Agron as he shifted from foot to foot, still not having taken his seat. “You know more than you let on.”

“I may have had a kinky boyfriend in the past. And after that first call, I did some research.”

“Why?” He suddenly found his lime jello intensely interesting, trying not to think about how Agron had had a boyfriend. Nasir may be loyal to Caesar, but he’d be a fool not to note that Agron was of an appealing form.

“I had a bad feeling Saxa and I would get another call. Whatever you do in your life is your own deal, but I didn’t want to make our visits worse. Saying the wrong thing, taking things out of context, hell, getting after Caesar and you for something you both were into? I felt like I was walking around land mines during that first one after Caesar made that comment about using a paddle to beat your ass red and Saxa had to take over watching him so I’d interview you.” Agron gestured to Nasir as he polished off the jello. “The chill, that tone in your voice, how you wouldn’t meet my eye after telling me how you used your safewords and Caesar didn’t stop, your own words? Everything I’ve read screams subdrop. And it sounds awful – I didn’t want you to have to go through that on your own.”

“Can you-?” Nasir nearly asked for him to sit beside him before remembering that Agron was likely still on duty given his uniform, either from the previous night or possibly his next shift beginning, and that they didn’t have that type of relationship. He was just some idiot who had to be saved because he couldn’t handle his own relationship. “Can you ask Naevia to come in?”

“Will you promise me that you won’t go back to your apartment with Caesar for a few days?” He tried to pretend that he didn’t hear what sounded a touch like disappointment in Agron’s voice as he nodded. “Thank you. We’ll be in touch. I hope you feel better Nasir, and please let me know if you remember anything else or decide that you want to press charges.”

Naevia and Mira were back by his side before Agron had even made it out the door, and he briefly spoke with Crixus and Spartacus in the doorway before leaving. Nasir’s hand reached for Naevia again, his chest loosening when she was perched on the edge of his bed with her arms wrapped around him. Mira wasn’t much further away, having taken his free hand once again as she sat in the chair. “Are you alright Nasir?” Naevia mumbled into his hair, pressing him close.

“I’m tired and my head is killing me.”

The first thing they did was decide where Nasir was going to stay (Mira’s) – primarily without his input. Granted, he was fine staying with either of them, and he had just admitted his exhaustion, but it slightly jarring to hear the quiet but speedy conversation overhead, especially as he had trouble tracking all of it. Something about not having guys around all the time, at which point Crixus actually contributed a grumbled counterpoint that maybe it was a bad thing to not have one of them around, and Nasir could have sworn that was an attempt by Naevia’s husband to willingly have his space invaded.

“I’m just saying, we don’t know how crazy Caesar is. What if he-“

“Enough Crixus.” Nasir caught Spartacus looking at him, gauging his reaction. “Mira’s place will be fine if Nasir is amenable. She has a second bedroom, and it is a virtual fortress.”

That didn’t sound much like the Mira Nasir remembered, but it had been nearly a year since he’d last gone to her apartment, and she was now dating a police lieutenant. It would be weird if she hadn’t become more safety-conscious; Nasir knew from Naevia that even if they tried not to bring it home with them, they were still cops when they walked through the front door and knew exactly how bad the world could be. “I’ll stay with Mira.”

* * * * *

Nasir nearly jumped upright from his prone position on the couch at the front door slamming shut and noise in the entryway. Even nearly a week after sustaining the concussion he was hypersensitive of noises, particularly those outside his line of sight, but Mira’s light humming gave him time to hide his reaction before she came through to the kitchen and living area. She set groceries on the counter, giving the room a brief once-over before approaching the blanket fort they’d constructed around the couch for when he was going crazy stuck in the spare bedroom. “Are you still asleep Nasir? I thought you were up when I called earlier.”

He shifted one of the blankets and leaned against a pillow so she could actually see him. “I’m awake.”

“It looks like the swelling around your eye and cheekbone is going down. How’s your side?” Mira reached out to pull back the fabric further but paused before touching him when Nasir flinched. “Nasir? Have you checked it yet today?”

He shook his head, immediately regretting the action, but not having wanted to see the raw-looking wound or think about what had led to it. Since going over it with Agron for his statement, Nasir had been trying to avoid anything that reminded him of his last interaction with Caesar. He’d been calling and texting often, first concerned and then irritated by the lack of response if Mira’s string of expletives was anything to go by after she saw the last text. Nasir had handed his phone over to her after the first day, too overwhelmed by the barrage of messages, and given her permission to look through the messages for anything that he needed to answer quickly.

“Come on Nasir, you can’t let it get infected. Do you want to end up in the hospital again?”

“Lay off Mira!” Nasir snapped, pulling farther away and his hand moving to cover the wound as it twinged.

“Look Nasir, I get that shit happened and you’re upset, but you have to take care of yourself. I’m not going to let you hurt yourself as some sort of fucked up punishment. Got it?” She watched him for a moment before reaching for his phone on the table. “Do I have to call Agron?”

“Why would you call Agron?” He had a vague memory of Agron forcing him to input his number in case he needed help after the third time the neighbors had called in a domestic disturbance on him and Caesar, but he wasn’t sure how Mira knew his number was in there unless… “Did you go through all my contacts?”

“You gave me permission to look at your texts and calls. He’s been texting to see how you are every couple of days.” Mira momentarily looked hurt before her usual cool expression was back in place. “I wouldn’t invade your privacy like that Nasir.”

“I know, Mira, I’m sorry. This whole thing’s just fucked up. I don’t what to think about anything anymore.”

She settled beside him on the couch, providing him ample space but the option to move closer if he wanted. “Would you consider something?”

“What?”

“Moving in here, even if it’s just for a couple of months while you get sorted. I know we haven’t been in contact for a while, but you’re my friend Nasir. Call it selfish, but with everything that’s happened, I don’t want you to be alone.” Something about Nasir’s silence must’ve set off warning bells in her head because Mira was suddenly glaring at him. “You **are** leaving him, correct?”

“I don’t know-“

“Are you kidding me Nasir? He put you in the hospital! From how Saxa was asking questions, they’ve been called to your place at least a couple times! That’s not just a scene gone bad – he’s-“

“He’s my boyfriend and my dom!” Oh gods, Nasir shouldn’t have shouted. It echoed in his head loud enough that he thought he’d hurl and he pressed the back of his hand to his mouth, trying to breathe through it.

“How can you not see how toxic your relationship with him is?”

“My relationship isn’t your concern.” She didn’t know how upset Caesar always was after a rough scene, how apologetic he was when he saw Nasir crying, the thoughtful gifts and sweet words he’d give him as he washed away blood and treated wounds before holding him all night.

“I can’t believe this. So what? You’re going to go back, and next time Naevia gets a call it’ll be to identify your corpse?” Mira chuckled, shaking her head. “He’s done a number on you if you can’t see the fucked-up situation you’re putting yourself in, and I’m not talking about your kinks. I thought you cared more about Naevia than that, since you certainly don’t care about yourself.”

“Enough Mira.” Nasir stood, locking his jaw as he began to pick up the blankets and pillows, folding them and setting them on the end of the couch. “I’ll be out of your hair this evening.”

“Nasir, that’s not-“ He didn’t hear the rest of her words, closing the door to the guestroom behind him. There wasn’t much to pack; just some toiletries and a small duffle of clothes that Crixus and Spartacus had apparently taken from the apartment while Caesar was at work using Nasir’s key. The intercom buzzer went off just as he was folding his last shirt to place in the bag and he nearly sank to his knees at the noise. It was too much – the fight with Mira, making a huge decision about himself and Caesar, the shrill buzzer, and now a frantic knocking at the door.

“Leave me alone.” Nasir whimpered to himself, sitting on the bed beside his duffle and curling over, ignoring the pain in his side in favor of covering his eyes.

“Nasir?” Mira must’ve made good on her threat, because Agron was slipping through the door and there was a quiet click before his hands were carefully pulling Nasir’s own from his face. Agron was kneeling in front of him still holding Nasir’s hands, the room’s lights turned off so the only source of light was from the overcast mid-afternoon through the curtained window. It was just enough that Nasir could actually see Agron’s face, but not so much as to enhance his headache like the overhead lights. “Hey there.”

“Mira?”

“She’s worried, and from the sound of it she didn’t handle it well.”

“How do you do it?”

Agron’s face scrunched up, his head tilting slightly. “Do what?”

“Stay patient. You must get dozens of calls each week for similar circumstances.”

“Hours upon hours of training.” He leaned forward conspiratorially, dropping his already quiet voice to a near whisper. “And sometimes abusers are too stupid to make it easy on themselves and I get to throw a few punches.”

Despite the harsh words, Agron was smiling, not crazed like Nasir was used to seeing on Caesar, but a soft one that Nasir couldn’t help returning. “In all honesty I have a bit of a temper outside of work, so I spend a lot of time at the gym. All that control’s gotta give at some point so I box to let it out.”

“Maybe Mira should take it up.”

“Oh, she does MMA. Spartacus got her into it back in August. She’s actually pretty good – she nearly took the title at Oenomaus’ from Saxa in their last fight, and Naevia regularly matches her.”

Now Nasir knew that Agron was pulling his leg. There was no way that sweet Naevia and witty Mira had taken to fighting. “I’m concussed, not gullible.”

“I’m 100% serious. You should come to one of their fights, it’s quite the event.”

“I can’t even imagine. They wouldn’t even go to the free self-defense classes while we were in college and now you tell me they’re terrors in the ring.”

“Cage, but yes.”

“Wait, August?” The smile vanished from Agron’s lips, replaced by a grimace as Nasir thought back. “The first time you came was in early August.”

“Nasir-“ He ripped his hands from Agron’s, not having much room to move if he didn’t push past the cop, but with Agron back to his feet, Nasir didn’t think he had much of a chance at it so he shifted further back onto the bed to get at least a little space.

“You told them?”

“Spartacus is my lieutenant-“

“I can’t believe you told them! What the fuck Agron? You said you didn’t tell them anything!”

“I told you this back at the hospital. I _said_ I didn’t tell Crixus about what happened, but Spartacus is my lieutenant. He sees all the call logs; he sees the reports including individuals’ names. He wouldn’t say anything but it’s not my fault if he encouraged Mira to get into MMA and she dragged along Naevia.”

As soon as Agron mentioned the hospital, Nasir had a nagging feeling of deja vu. That first day after was fuzzy – he could remember some of their conversations, the general gist of them but other times were blank. He still hadn’t gone down to formally sign his transcribed statement due to the concussion. The police wanted him as healed as possible before signing since he wasn’t currently pressing charges in case he remembered something else he wanted to add. “Fuck.”

“Ringing any bells?”

“Fuck!” Nasir ran his hands through his hair, fingers catching on a knot before ripping through it. “You’re telling the truth? You didn’t tell them?”

“I promise I did not Nasir.”

“Gods, I hate this. Apologies Agron.”

He shrugged, not looking particularly concerned now that Nasir had calmed down, though he didn’t try to close the distance between the two of them. “You’re taking it better than most people I’ve dealt with in your position.”

“Really?” Nasir scoffed, biting his lip as he glanced at Mira’s surprisingly flowery comforter.

“Well, better than some. I had a couple of people come after me when I cuffed their partners to detain them. Ever been hit with a pan? Not fun.”

“Someone hit you with a pan? Like a frying pan from the stove?”

“Yep. I was really glad it was from the morning so it wasn’t hot by the time she used it on me. Still, cast iron and heads should remain very far apart in my personal opinion.”

“I bet.” Nasir shifted closer to the edge near the head of the bed, leaving plenty of space should Agron want to sit. It took Nasir a few moments to work up the courage to speak again, wetting his lips as Agron waited. “What do you think I should do with Caesar?”

“Honestly?”

“Do you make it a habit of telling people what they want to hear? You don’t seem the type.”

“I’m not, but you didn’t seem to take Mira’s advice very well, and you’ve known her a hell of a lot longer than you have me.”

He hummed, glancing at the door past Agron’s side. With his luck Mira was lurking right outside listening with bated breath, having heard raised voices. Or she was taking advantage of Agron’s presence to go out with Spartacus – she’d been hesitant to leave Nasir alone in the evenings this past week, only going to work and the market, both of which were just down the street. “She’s never liked anyone I dated, and she doesn’t know about everything. You’re an outsider – you’ve seen us, and you probably know more about our relationship than you ever should’ve.”

“You’re right; I’ve seen what Caesar’s done to you on multiple occasions. Maybe some of that was agreed upon, but I know Caesar’s type. I’ve had to walk out of houses only to get calls days or weeks later from Homicide that they’ve got Saxa and I on a list of officers responding to recent calls. So I’ve seen the aftermath, what happens when someone walks back into that type of situation, and I’d like to think I could keep you from going back there, to keep you safe, but it’s your decision. You have to want to get out of there, be willing to walk away from months or years of commitment, to ask and take support from your friends and family, and some people are too scared to do it, or are sticking around as punishment for something they did. So my opinion? You’ve got a way out, friends who care for you and want to help, and I think you should take it. Get a couple friends to go with you, get your things and get Caesar the hell out of your life so he doesn’t take yours.”

Nasir stared at Agron, noting the red tinge around his eyes as he spoke, that pit in Nasir’s stomach that had been present for the last week still there but maybe getting a little smaller as he listened. The seriousness was too heavy though, eventually making him glance away from Agron’s scrutiny. “You don’t have to decide this second what you’re going to do, but I hope that I don’t get a call asking after you.”

Agron left, the door not fully closed behind him so Nasir could catch a few of the words exchanged between him and Mira, who it appeared had been waiting in the short hallway for one of them to exit the room. “I didn’t know you could be so eloquent.”

“Fuck off Mira.”

“Agron, thank you. I know this isn’t part of your job description.” Her volume dropped, to the point Nasir couldn’t hear unless he strained his ears or crept towards the door, both of which were too much effort so instead he laid across the bed, legs hanging off the side. He waited until he heard the front door close to get up and find Mira, not that it was particularly hard since she was sitting at the breakfast bar with two cups of coffee set out. She didn’t say anything as he sat beside her, just sliding one of the cups towards him.

“Would you mind if I stayed another few days?”

“Still haven’t figured things out?”

“Nope.”

“Can I ask? What do you see in him?” He gave her the side-eye, trying to determine if she was hunting for another fight. “I’m serious. I’ve never known you to take crap from anyone, and you were the first to chase off that creep Ashur when he started following Naevia around.”

“I think you’re forgetting about her giant boyfriend-turned-husband. Crixus was ready to lose his job over him.”

“Only after you told him about Ashur showing up at Naevia’s hydrology final. I’m really asking Nasir. Why stay with someone who put you in the hospital – what’s worth that?”

Nasir hummed as he took a sip of the latte. One of the perks of staying with Mira was that she had been a barista during college and had retained all her skills. “I think…I think it’s because I remember who he was when we first started dating, how he was for the first year or so. He was kind, and he supported me in my decision to go into tattooing, even though it wasn’t a stable or posh job and it’s hell to run your own shop from the guys I talked to. And he let me get out of my head, even if it was just for a little while now and then. I’m not saying what he did was okay, but we’ve been together for a while and it’s only really been in the last half year that things got worse at work and it spilled over to me.”

Mira watched, her eyes providing no hint as she listened, and Nasir felt his words trailing off. “People change Nasir. What if you knew that Caesar was never going to go back to who he was? What if this is the new norm? Would you want to stay with someone who you knew was going to put you back in the hospital?”

“But it’s not.”

“Maybe it is. Just think about it for a second. You haven’t seen us really in a year – you didn’t even come over when I got the new apartment. But what specifically happened six months ago?”

“Caesar got a promotion at work.”

“And is he happy with his position or is he angling for a higher one?”

Nasir knew what she was talking about – Caesar had been quick to tell all of Nasir’s friends during their first, and last meeting, a year prior that he wanted to be CEO. He had the mind for it but was still young and it was a ways off. Being named Vice President of Operations during the summer had been a step in the right direction and quite the achievement for the thirty-one-year-old. “He’s still talking about becoming a CEO.”

“I know I can’t tell you what to do, but I would appreciate it if you’d just think about it. I don’t want to have to bury a friend.”

“You won’t Mira.” Even as he said it, Nasir felt the pit growing again as if ready to swallow him from the inside.

“You can stay as long as you want Nasir. I asked if you wanted to move in permanently and I meant it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always welcome feedback (what you liked, what critiques you have – i.e., anything constructive; please note that flames and antagonistic commentary will be shared with my writing groups for our entertainment).  
> If people have requests for something they want to see in a future chapter, feel free to drop a line – I can’t promise I’ll include it since it depends on how I’m feeling when I sit down to write what ends up on the page, but I’m open to suggestions. Things that are off-limits for requests are: incest/faux incest, bestiality, underage, and scat & watersports play – I will update the list if there are others.  
> I’m thinking I’ll update weekly on Friday, and I’ll try to leave a note about if I will be late the following week or about any posting scheduling changes.


	2. Help Me in My Escape

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m back (and on time)! Thanks to everyone who commented/left kudos so far – they keep me writing and I’m really happy to hear that you guys liked the start of this fic. I finished writing and editing this during another sleep-deprived haze, so apologies in advance. Still no beta so all mistakes are mine and please point them out so I can correct them. As always, please heed the tags! Hopefully y’all enjoy this chapter as much as the first! 😊

Spartacus and Crixus were in the living area, Mira finally having invited them and Naevia over for an evening of takeout and poker now that Nasir looked slightly less like death warmed over. It was day ten following the hospital, and while Naevia had been popping by every other day, Mira had essentially banned the others from her apartment in an attempt for Nasir to get some rest without the policemen constantly checking the street. After the first few times, Nasir had realized that they were looking to see if Caesar was out there. Naevia and Mira slipped into the kitchen with him to get drinks, though Nasir was limited to lemonade much to his chagrin.

“Doing ok?” Naevia nudged him lightly, nodding towards the living room.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

Mira popped the top off a few beers, sliding two to Naevia before getting one for herself. “You’re still recovering and we’re not exactly a quiet or low-key group.”

Naevia’s snort drew Nasir’s attention, and a questioning glance. “You’re lucky Mira didn’t invite Gannicus over. Get a few drinks in him and he’ll give you a _wonderful_ rendition of every bawdy song he’s ever heard. And not a single one will be in the right key. You’d think a Celt could hold his liquor better.”

“I think it’s less he can’t hold his drink and more that he mixes in Clear Spring when we’re not looking.”

“Isn’t that the stuff that’s got a highly flammable warning on it?”

Nasir was instantly thankful that they hadn’t invited him – singing and flammable liquor on top of poker may have just about done him in. Granted, he wasn’t doing particularly well at their first few hands of poker, the game requiring enough brain power that his concussed head had him folding immediately on the first rounds and he was grateful that they were playing for pretzels instead of cash. It eventually resulted in him being full-time dealer. “He drinks it?”

“Pretty much lighter fluid – I think he once used it to start a fire when we went up camping. Whatever it was, it came out of his flask.”

“You two hang around with weird people.”

“Hazards of relationships. Besides, you’ll probably take to most of the group once you’re back to full strength. They’re actually pretty chill when they aren’t wrestling and breaking lamps and side tables.”

“THAT WAS ONE TIME MIRA!” Spartacus squawked, feigning hurt as the three of them reentered the living room.

“On our third date – and the first time I ever met your friends other than Crixus who I already knew through Naevia. Most sane people would’ve headed for the hills.”

“Good thing you’re not sane then.”

“Just for that you’re not staying over tonight.”

“Wait-“

“I thought he wasn’t staying over?” Nasir interrupted, trying to figure out if this was another one of his memory lapses. He’d thought he was getting better but every now and then he still had problems putting things in their places in his head, or he’d forget that Mira was leaving and call around the two-bedroom apartment for her.

“Now he’s certainly not.” The quick kiss she pressed to Spartacus’ cheek and the offered beer softened the effect of her hard tone and had Nasir grinning. It was good to see Mira with someone she actually seemed to like – she’d spent years bouncing from one-night stands to short term relationships before breaking up for whatever reason; usually she just got bored and the guys got too attached. Lead settled in his stomach as he watched them, thinking about the last time he and Caesar had teased one another without real bite. It wasn’t long before his trip to the hospital, everything seeming so perfectly normal and happy as Caesar wondered how a tattoo artist could have no ink, and Nasir had said he hadn’t found something worth embedding in his skin permanently yet.

“I made my decision.”

“And?” Mira didn’t have to ask what about from his right – there was only one choice that Nasir had been mulling over that he’d need to announce to them. The guys across from Nasir looked a little more lost, but Naevia was watching him worriedly from his left.

“Are you two good out of the ring?” His hand drifted down to the covered stitches, well aware that now he did have something that would mark him forever.

“YES!” They nearly bowled Nasir over as they launched themselves at him, knocking his glass to the floor while Spartacus and Crixus stared on, shocked. “You guys are helping Nasir move! Day after tomorrow!”

“Wait, why then?” Nasir’s question was firmly ignored in favor of Mira and Naevia excitedly talking about redecorating the second bedroom.

“Fucking finally!” Crixus got up and actually did manage to send Nasir to his knees from his chair, luckily missing the table, with a heavy-handed pat on the back, causing Naevia to begin fretting over Nasir while simultaneously threatening Crixus with the couch for the next week if he wasn’t more careful as Spartacus and Mira just about collapsed beside him laughing.

“Ow.”

“Your stitches alright?” Spartacus finally asked when he caught his breath, Mira still leaning heavily against him. Nasir didn’t quite think that their reactions were warranted, but everyone had been on edge around him so maybe they were also laughing just to laugh and release the tension. He hadn’t realized how much his uncertainty had weighed them all down.

Naevia helped Nasir back to his feet, hands worriedly fluttering across his shoulders. “Yeah, yeah. Just didn’t expect it.”

Crixus nearly looked sorry, glancing down at Nasir’s side as if he’d see blood as Nasir waved their concern away. “Honestly. They gave me damn good painkillers so stop worrying. Now, let’s deal the next round.”

Once Nasir had cleaned the broken glass, he sat back and watched, munching on his pretzels. The four others had obviously played poker with each other a lot, and probably with the rest of their friends too, because they were far more serious than Naevia, Mira and he had ever been regarding not showing tells. Naevia was doing the best playing her husband like a fiddle which could’ve just been because Crixus was a lovesick fool over her. If Nasir had thought the half year in the ring would’ve quelled Naevia’s vicious competitiveness in the rest of her life, he would’ve been sorely mistaken.

Unsurprisingly, in the end Mira wiped the floor with them all, though most of Crixus’ pretzels made their way to her via Naevia, and there was nearly a mutiny to play something else when she suggested dealing out another hand after Spartacus had retrieved the takeout. “You’re not allowed to choose the games anymore.” He mumbled around a mouthful of pizza, getting an instant “uh-oh” from Naevia and Nasir. They knew exactly how badly Mira took to being told what to do. Even Crixus appeared apprehensive, focusing intently on grabbing another slice from the quickly emptying boxes.

“You seemed to like my games last night.”

Nasir chuckled as Spartacus’s face reddened and he hissed “Fuck Mira!” at his girlfriend.

“Ok. But not tonight, because you are still banished for your earlier comment.”

“You two are disgusting.” Crixus flicked an olive off his pizza at Mira, shaking his head when she batted it away and scooched closer to Spartacus.

“Now you know how we feel.”

Naevia apparently had decided to try to out cute the other couple, much to Nasir’s horror, because she decided to climb onto his lap and pressed kisses along his cheek. “Come on Crix – leave the love birds alone. We were probably worse.”

Nasir couldn’t hold his tongue any longer, especially with everyone else getting tipsy and him stuck with the lemonade due to his painkillers. “You still are!”

“No, I’m fairly certain Spartacus and Mira are worse.”

“He’s right Nasir. My hubby is fantastically astute.”

He groaned, full on laying his head against the table trying to block out the lovey-dovey-ness going on around him. It was nice to see Mira and Naevia so happy, but knowing that he was leaving Caesar, and all the shit that had happened, the easy banter made the hole in Nasir’s chest ache. 

“Maybe we should head out Mira; Crixus has the early shift tomorrow.”

“Stay a few more rounds?” Nasir gave Mira the side-eye without lifting his head, well-aware of the progression of the evening if they continued with poker.

“I don’t think we’re in the mood for strip poker tonight.” Naevia nearly fell off of Crixus’ lap as she leaned over Nasir’s back to murmur in Mira’s ear, not that quietly. “Pretty sure he’s going commando and will be upset at being at a disadvantage.”

“Naevia!”

Crixus’ scandalized “Too much information Naev!” was overrun by Spartacus’ own shout of “I did not need to know that!”

Nasir stood, grabbing his (new) glass and the empty plates, heading for the kitchen. “I’m out. Nice to see you Naevia and Crixus, and good to meet you when not hopped up on morphine Spartacus.”

“Night Nasir!” Three voices followed him into the kitchen. He fussed around loading the dishwasher and tossing empty bottles in the recycling until he heard the front door close and Mira came through.

“Spartacus really isn’t staying?”

“Not tonight. Crixus isn’t the only one with an early shift, and I wouldn’t want to scar my new roomie.”

“No, you just decided to do that last night.” His words held no anger, at least not intentionally, and Nasir made sure to smile so she knew there wasn’t any real irritation. Nasir wasn’t one who constantly felt the need to be in a relationship but seeing what a catastrophe his had been compared to his friends was a bit disheartening, and he did wish for something to replace the bad taste Caesar had left in his mouth.

“You still love me.” Mira tugged on a stray piece of his hair, grinning over her beer as she leaned against the counter. “So Agron?”

“What about him?”

“I am no fool Nasir, and I certainly have sight. He is quite nice on the eyes.”

“I’m not sure you’re his type. And don’t you have his lieutenant wrapped around your finger? You know, your boyfriend? The one who literally just left?”

“Not for me! I may not be dumb but you apparently are. He’s been _quite_ concerned about you.” Mira sullenly took a long drink. “Spartacus is not as infatuated with me as you’d lead one to believe. He still mourns his wife.”

”I have yet to officially end things with Caesar and you are already attempting to set me up with another guy. You have no shame Mira.” Noticing that Mira wasn’t engaging with his teasing, Nasir reached out, rubbing his thumb across the back of her wrist. “How long ago did she pass?”

“A few years. And I can’t be upset with him for caring about her or missing her, that really would be insane of me. Some asshole killed her thinking that would get Spartacus to back off a case. I just can’t help wishing I’d met him first, because I think I might actually be in love with him.”

Mira wasn’t the type of person to fall in love easily. Hell, in the near decade he’d known her, Nasir could count the number of times she’d dated for someone longer than half a year on two fingers, and how many people she’d been in love with on none. Spartacus was certainly an oddity if Mira really cared so much for him to be contemplating if it was love. She was frighteningly logical when it came to matters of the heart versus the head, something that Nasir and Naevia had both found themselves incapable of understanding, and she wasn’t inclined to fanciful thinking like this. “Shit Mira.”

“Yeah.”

“So what are you going to do?”

“I care about him, so I’ll take what I can get I guess. Maybe someday he’ll love me like he loved her, or at least enough that we can make something of it.” She shrugged, killing the last of her beer and tossing it in the bin. “You’re to get your stitches out tomorrow afternoon. Probably should hit the hay so they don’t try to say I’m not looking after you.”

“I dare anyone to say that – you’re more of a mother hen than anyone would’ve guessed.”

“I’m fond of you and want you to stick around. Sue me.” Mira pressed a quick kiss to Nasir’s cheek before heading to her room. “And we’re picking up moving boxes tomorrow too. If I’m not allowed to kill Caesar, I am serious about having you moved by the end of day after tomorrow.”

* * * * *

The stitches were removed easily enough – a few quick snips and a weird tugging sensation later had Nasir heading out of the doctor’s office towards the nearest Home Depot with Mira by his side with a warning about not straining himself and that he’d likely always have a pretty gnarly scar. “How many boxes do you need?”

“I don’t know, maybe a half-dozen of the medium, and a couple large? I don’t have **that** many things; it’s mostly clothing, books and some knick-knacks.”

“So a dozen medium and at least five large. Let’s get two of the reinforced small ones too for your books.”

He stared at her as she led him through the aisles, intent on her target. “Why even ask me if you already knew?”

“Oh, I asked you because that at least gives me a gauge, but everyone always underestimates how much stuff they’ve got. I ended up needing nearly twice what I thought when I moved.”

“How? You lived in a studio before!”

“I think you missed how well-stocked my kitchen is. And I have a lot of bath products.”

“Bath products? Really?”

“Whole large box-worth.” Mira handed him a bundle of boxes, then tossed a couple rolls of packing tape and bubble wrap on top. “Don’t believe me? Check out the extra cabinet in the bathroom next time. You may want to try a bath bomb – there’s a lovely lemon one you may like.”

“What the hell have I agreed to live with?”

“Someone with taste. That should do it.”

Nasir was surprised at the speed in which they managed to get in and out of the store, feeling like they’d just done a speed run on a video game instead of simply buying some moving supplies. Seeing the materials in the trunk was sobering though, a physical representation of his decision.

“Are the guys really ok helping me move tomorrow?”

“’Course Nasir. They usually just dick around when the four of them get a day off.” Mira wasn’t looking at him, too focused on trying to get out of the hellscape known as the parking lot without an accident to notice his confusion.

“Four of them?”

“You didn’t think that we’d be able to get all your things packed and moved while Caesar was at work without help, right? Gannicus and Agron are pitching in, and I think Naevia is also taking the day off too, so we’ll have plenty of hands and a couple trucks at our disposal.”

“You really are unbelievable. You’re playing matchmaker while I’m moving out of my ex’s apartment.”

Mira nudged him as they paused at a stoplight. “And you love me anyway. Besides, two birds, one stone.”

“Speaking of two birds, can we stop by the studio on our way home?”

“I thought you weren’t going back to work until next week.”

“I’m not but I want to check my schedule. I don’t think I can sit still for any big pieces after sitting on my ass for the last couple weeks, so I’m hoping Chadara either pushed or took the line art for them.”

Chadara, who looked like she wanted to tackle Nasir upon his arrival, had in fact done a bit of both. “A couple wanted you to do their tats through and through, but most were willing to let me take over as long as it was still your stencil for the lines. They still want you to do the shading and details. Apparently, my gothic flare isn’t everyone’s cup of tea.”

Nasir knew that Chadara wasn’t really upset, more slightly miffed that she wouldn’t be completing the tattoos. None of the artists they knew liked working someone else’s project, but it really couldn’t be helped unless the Nasir worked twelve- or fourteen-hour days to catch up for his time off. “Anyone switch over?”

“Lugo, Acer and Rhaskos. They were all going for fairly simple pieces even if they were big and didn’t mind if I took it. Acer’s coming in for the last session on Friday.”

“Thanks for taking them. I’m not up for full back pieces right now.”

“Jittery?”

“Sitting at home with limited movement for weeks will do that to you.” Mira was poking around the most recent additions to their portfolios, and Nasir saw she paused on one of their piercer’s pages. “Thinking about getting an industrial?”

“Not right now, but I always liked how they looked.”

“Diona’s pretty good.” Chadara pulled back her hair to show her set of piercings, including a helix, an industrial and a snug. “She did them all in the same sitting and I didn’t have any issues. She won’t do more than three at a time though.”

“Good to know. Thanks.”

“Barca here?” Nasir wandered behind the counter, heading for the calendar and flipping to the following week as Chadara shook her head. The first few days were going to be on the slower side, a fair number of small pieces that he’d already had stenciled out but with plenty of breaks. Towards the end of the week it would be busy, mostly catch up and a couple that he’d need to prep for that had been scheduled since before the hospital. “Fuck, I forgot about Mummius.”

Mira glanced his way. “Hmm?”

“Mummius – he’s supposed to be in for a reinking on a couple old tattoos next week. He’s a friend of Caesar’s.”

“What’s that got to do with anything?” Chadara came over, fingers finding Mummius’ name on Thursday afternoon for an hour and a half session. “He wasn’t one of the ones I rescheduled.”

Nasir was vividly aware that no one had explained exactly how he’d ended up in the hospital to his coworkers, and so Chadara would have had no reason to try to take Mummius or delay his appointment. That didn’t help the slight shaking of his hands as he closed the appointment book, nearly on Chadara’s fingers, turning to her. “Would – would you consider taking his appointment?”

“I can ask him, but what’s going on? If he’s friends with Caesar why would you want to switch?”

“I’m breaking up with Caesar tomorrow.”

“Alright, let me know when you’re done and I’ll call Mummius to reschedule.” Chadara was staring at the fading bruise on his cheek intently, and Nasir shifted slightly so it wasn’t directly in her line of sight. “Want me to have him come in on Sunday when you’re not working?”

“Would you?”

“’Course. Now shoo. I’ve got an appointment with Nemetes in fifteen and I’ve still gotta prep.”

Mira followed Nasir out, not speaking as they piled into the crossover and headed home. They left the packing supplies in the trunk, and Nasir went straight to his room, pulling out his phone, as well as snagging the pad of paper and pen that lay on his dresser. Caesar hadn’t stopped calling or texting, but it wasn’t as often as before. Nasir had given in once his concussion had healed a bit, texting Caesar now and then but keeping it focused on his recovery. He still hadn’t spoken with Caesar on the phone, let alone in person, but he didn’t really plan to. Maybe it was cowardly, but he felt like if he spoke with Caesar, he’d agree to stay. It was like he told Mira – Caesar wasn’t all bad, and they’d had plenty of wonderful days together. Nasir just didn’t think he could stay with Caesar anymore, not after the last time, so he was going to write a note and leave it on the table for him. He just had to actually write the note now…

Caesar’s last text had been asking when Nasir would come home, just like he usually did whenever he got a response from Nasir. It followed an apology and promises to take a break from the heavier scenes for a while, but Nasir wasn’t convinced the scenes were the problem. He was well aware of the risks of what they’d agreed, but the main issue was that Caesar hadn’t adhered to their agreement. 

Nasir found hours slipping away as he wrote, and rewrote his note to Caesar a good dozen times, versions spread across his bed with various parts scratched out, circled, or braced with arrows to reorder sections. He didn’t end up sleeping much, eventually deciding that no matter what he wrote Caesar wouldn’t accept it as enough, and that it wasn’t really for Caesar – it was for him. He had to put to words everything that had led up to him leaving, even if it didn’t make things easier for Caesar, and Caesar could throw it out after the first sentence or not; that was his choice but telling Caesar things from his perspective in the letter was Nasir’s.

* * * * *

“So, this is the mysterious Nasir! Let’s get this done and then ply you with alcohol. Or perhaps you’d prefer a nip beforehand?” The long-haired brunet boomed from the entryway, Agron a half-step behind. Mira had mugs in hand as she passed Nasir toweling his hair, and she sidestepped his attempt to grab one.

“Miiiira,” he whined, desperately needing coffee if he was going to handle not only the day but also the arrival of two pretty attractive guys in shirts that left very little to the imagination. Nasir was just happy he’d tossed on a tank and jeans after getting out of the shower so he wasn’t caught in only a towel.

“You don’t want one of these. Yours is in the kitchen Nasir. And don’t touch my triple latte – I will withhold coffee from you for a week if you take mine again.” She handed one to each of the men once they’d shucked off their coats. “Nasir, this is Gannicus. Good morning. It was nice of you guys to come help.”

“Morning.” Agron raised his cup in greeting, following Mira and Gannicus to the living area while Nasir beelined for the kitchen, eyes on the prize – a quad shot in the navy mug that had been labeled Nasir’s since his arrival.

“Mhmm.” Nasir was through his drink and his hand reaching for Mira’s before he thought to respond to Agron, Gannicus watching from the couch with a raised eyebrow. Mira had her back turned as she texted on her phone. “Good morning.”

“Nasir, I’m serious! Paws off my coffee!” Mira hadn’t even turned around, still texting. “Spart and Crixus will be here in twenty. Agron, you brought your truck?”

“Yeah, got bungee cords and a dolly too.”

“You are a doll-y.” Gannicus groaned, as if actually pained.

“Mira, I swear-”

“Oh come on Gannicus, I’m hilarious.”

“Not unless I’m very drunk – which you specifically forbade today.”

Agron made his way into the kitchen, leaning against the counter as Nasir fumbled with the still hot coffeemaker. “Need a hand?”

“Coffee.” Nasir eyed Agron’s mug for a moment before he managed to focus on refilling the percolator, ignoring the burning in his fingertips as he screwed on the top and relit the stove. Stealing Mira’s coffee was one thing – taking Agron’s would be crossing a line even to Nasir's caffeine-deprived brain.

“Well I was offering to help you get it but seems you have it handled.” Ignoring Agron’s comment for the moment, he was fully capable of looking after himself despite their previous interactions, thank you very much, Nasir returned to drying his hair now that another round of coffee was imminent. He’d managed to towel the majority of the water out before leaving the bathroom but he knew it would be wet all day if he didn’t twist it thoroughly before putting it in a ponytail. “Remind me never to get you mad. You may very well strangle me.”

“What?” The words were enough to draw Nasir’s attention away from his hair.

“Your death grip – why not just cut your hair if you hate it that much?”

“I need more coffee.”

“Don’t bother trying to have a conversation with him right now Agron. You’ll learn Nasir without a quart of coffee in his system is like talking to a wall. I was planning on having him caffeinated prior to your arrival, but someone decided to take an extra long time in the shower.” Mira was quick to grab hers from the counter before Nasir could retaliate by drinking it, giving him a very obvious wink.

“Perhaps Nasir’s already found his rebound?” Nasir was quickly deciding that Gannicus would be banned from his presence before coffee, and possibly after unless heavily intoxicated.

“No one guiltily snuck out this morning, so he’d still be in there if Nasir had.”

“I hate you all.” He went to grab the boiling coffeemaker, only to find it in Agron’s hand before he could get to it. “Gimme my coffee.”

“Now that’s not very nice Nasir.” He really hated the smile on Agron’s face – who was this happy in the morning? Mornings were for curling up in warm blankets and jugs of the black nectar of the gods, also known as coffee – not teasing people you were supposed to be helping. And why the hell did he have to look so damn cute while doing it?

“I’m not nice.” Nasir tried to grab the percolator from Agron, but he easily held it out of reach as the intercom buzzed and Mira went to get it. “Not fair you stupid giant.”

“Come get it, little man.” Fuck but Agron’s voice dropped a little and Nasir was suddenly a lot more interested in keeping his hips away from Agron as he simultaneously tried to get to his lifeblood. Of course, hot coffee spilled out of the maker onto Agron’s hand when Nasir grabbed his arm, and promptly all teasing ceased as Agron dropped it on the stove, thankfully upright and avoiding more boiling liquid on skin, and moved to run his hand under cold water.

“Apologies.” Nasir offered him a hand towel and one of their gel ice packs, coherent enough to realize hot coffee smarted and it was his fault even if Agron had been being a bit of a dick about his caffeine reliance.

“The price of learning not to get between Nasir and his coffee. Seriously Agron, you were poking the pit viper there.” Mira was flanked by Crixus, Naevia and Spartacus, all of whom were decked out in worn jeans and t-shirts. “Nasir, satisfy your addiction, hang up your towel and get your tennies on; we’ve got work to do.”

Mira’s words had a sobering effect, the group falling silent as Nasir chugged the fresh coffee, losing a few taste buds in the process, and did as instructed, grabbing the envelope off his dresser and pulling his hair up just as Spartacus roused Gannicus off the couch. “Are you ready Nasir?”

“Yeah. Thanks for helping me.” The lead ball was back in his chest, crushing the air from his lungs and making him glad that he’d stuck with coffee this morning rather than grabbing any real food.

“Of course.”

“Nasir, you should go in Agron’s truck so you can direct him to the loading dock. Crixus and Naevia can follow you, and Spartacus and Gannicus can come in my car. Once we get the boxes up, I’ll find a space nearby.” Mira was really pushing it on the matchmaker front, but Nasir didn’t have the energy to fight with her about it today. He glanced at Agron, who just shrugged, so Nasir nodded and the group headed to the garage.

Agron led him to a dark silver 2017 Ford F-150 supercrew cab truck with a 6.5’ box, the bed long enough that it stuck out into the lane from his parking space. “I thought officers were supposed to uphold the law. Isn’t this technically impeding traffic?”

“Really? Your first real contribution to conversation of the day and you’re ragging on my truck?” Agron unlocked the doors, laughing as Nasir had to scramble into the seat nearly on his stomach. “There is a handle along the inside edge of the windshield frame to help you get in and out, little man.”

“Stop calling me that. And it would’ve been helpful to know about the handle before you watched me struggle!”

“But so much less entertaining.” That stupid fucking grin was back on Agron’s face, so Nasir turned to resolutely look out the window. Agron waited until they were nearly to Caesar’s apartment, Mira and Crixus’ cars following closely, before he spoke again. “How do you want to tackle this?”

“Guess you guys should start in the living room and gym? Naevia and Mira can help me pack my studio and clothes, and I’ll get the bathroom.”

“Not a bad plan but not what I meant. Do you want someone in the room while you’re speaking with Caesar?”

“He shouldn’t be there. We’ll get in and out before he gets home from work.” Nasir barely kept from fisting his hand on his knee as he caught sight of the high-rise, though he did crease the envelope in his attempts. He desperately wanted to ask Agron to turn around, to hell with his things, he could by new things eventually, but there were photo albums and trinkets from his childhood he couldn’t bear to abandon. “Go past the main drive and take the next right. The loading dock will be on the right side and you can pull in wherever along it.”

Nasir was out the truck nearly before Agron had stopped, flagging down Mira and Crixus. “The apartment is 1302. I’ll request that the loading elevator be unlocked so we don’t have to go through the main ones and wait. Give me a couple minutes.” Nasir didn’t realize that Agron was following him until he stopped at the front desk, too wrapped up in his worries. Caesar could come home, or worse, be home already, or what if he couldn’t actually leave him? What if he wasted everyone’s time? They’d be so fucking disappointed in him, just like Caesar when he couldn’t hold still or complained that he was too sore?

“Mr. Karimi? It’s been a while. How are you?” He didn’t respond to the desk manager, Rufus, turning on his heel only to be caught in Agron’s firm grip and pulled to a stop.

“We’ve got you Nasir.”

“Mr. Karimi? Is everything alright?”

“Yes.” He waited a second before looking away from Agron, focusing on Rufus. “Can we get the fright elevator set for the thirteenth floor?”

“Very well.” Nasir could feel Rufus’ eyes on his back as he led Agron past the main lifts to the loading dock door, propping it open with the doorstop.

The others had already pulled out the moving materials and were quick to pile into the freight elevator, but Agron kept Spartacus and Crixus back. “We’ll be up in a minute.”

“Sure you don’t want a drink?” Gannicus offered the tiny flask as soon as the doors closed, ignoring groans from the girls, but Nasir was quick to take a small swig before trying to hand it back. “You’re going to need it more than me.”

“Thanks.” Throwing back another swallow, Nasir finally registered the burn and weird evaporative effect on his lips. “What the **fuck** is that?”

“Clear Spring.” Gannicus provided as Naevia winked at Mira, and Nasir remembered what they’d said at poker night.

“This is the flammable crap, isn’t it?”

“190 proof, pretty boy.” If Nasir’s stomach wasn’t in knots over the move and Caesar, he may have actually balked at Gannicus, unsure if it was just his personality or an actual attempt at flirting. He was saved from having to respond as they arrived at his apartment door and he swiftly punched in the alarm code.

“Would you-?” Nasir glanced at the closed office, gym, three bedrooms, and bathroom doors, keeping his eyes off of the dining table as he beckoned them in. Caesar had a habit of keeping the front door armed even when home.

“Sure.” As Gannicus began to sweep the apartment, it was easy to see the cop in his form, even without a weapon in his hands. Dropping the envelope on the entry side table, Nasir joined the rest of them to begin constructing the boxes and they were unsurprised when a few moments later the other guys were knocking on the door. Gannicus exited the guest bedroom, heading straight to the front door to let them in and glancing around as the chime sounded. “He’s not here. Nice digs, but too modern for my tastes.”

“I’ll make sure to not give you the number of Caesar’s interior designer then.” He caught the tail-end of the girls’ scathing looks directed at Gannicus, rolling his eyes. Honestly, he’d hated the harsh lines and cold surfaces, but it was Caesar’s apartment long before they’d begun seeing each other and his boyfriend hadn’t been particularly willing to change things. Giving the guys a brief rundown of his things in the main area and home gym - primarily photos, a set of antique dishware he’d picked up at a shop in his senior year of college, books, CDs, and a PS4 with so many games Caesar had asked him when he’d ever have time to play them - Nasir focused on Mira and Naevia.

“Can I get your help in the bedrooms?” He set them to work in the third bedroom, where Caesar had set up an art studio for him, packing up a ridiculous number of sketchbooks and half-finished canvases. Wrapping each in bubble wrap, taping it and then fitting it into a box without damaging anything took a stupid amount of time in Nasir’s opinion. Mira put on some music, trying to get Nasir to sing along with her and Naevia, but he didn’t feel up to it even a touch tipsy as he emptied his life into cardboard and they eventually stopped, just listening to it mask the sound of packing. As they filled boxes, they shoved them through the door for the others to grab.

“Nasir, we’re going to take down a load.” Spartacus called before the front door closed, about an hour into their packing. Surprised at how quickly they’d managed to fill the boxes, Nasir glanced into the living room fully expecting to find that they’d accidentally packed half the kitchen. Instead, there were only a handful games left in the entertainment system and a stack of classical CDs.

The chime of the front door had Nasir turning, ready to ask how they knew what CDs were Caesar’s, only to find himself looking at the man himself, any lingering tipsiness immediately vanishing in place of fear. “Hello darling.”

“You’re supposed to be at work.” Nasir had to force himself to stay still as Caesar approached, locking down on the instinct to flinch.

“Rufus called. He said some brute was here with you and you didn’t seem yourself. I came straight away after my meeting darling and saw him leaving; I wanted to make sure you were alright.” When Caesar moved to cup Nasir’s cheek, he jerked back, nearly tripping himself on the damn dining table. “Why didn’t you come home sooner?”

“I,” He couldn’t meet Caesar’s eyes as he spoke, hands fisting on the edge of the table. “I’m not home.”

“Don’t be ridiculous darling. Of course you’re home. I’ve missed you so much.” Caesar took hold of his jaw, using his larger frame to box in Nasir between him and the dining table like he’d done dozens of times before, and pressing light kisses along his cheek to his mouth. “We’ll take it easy for a while, alright? You know I didn’t mean to hurt you like that – I only ever wanted to give us both that rush – but then you had to move and the knife slipped too deep darling. I was about to call the paramedics when those cops came; you nearly bled out because of them. They kept wanting to talk to me, one of them even cuffed me, and I couldn’t call an ambulance for you. Please darling, I didn’t want to harm you.”

“Caesar, fuck, I can’t-“

“You know I don’t like that type of language Nasir.” His grip tightened, turning painful before relaxing again once Nasir had breathed out a quiet “sorry”. “Now what can’t you do? Let me help – I’m your partner after all. We’re supposed to work through things together.”

“I can’t do another – I can’t do another scene with you. You didn’t stop when I said ‘Tiberius’.” Nasir expected Caesar to get upset, do something given how easily his hand could slide down Nasir’s neck, but if Caesar thought him lying it would be a hundred times worse.

Instead, Caesar’s face morphed into shock and he took a second before responding. “Nasir, darling, I didn’t ever hear you say your safeword. You must be mixing up our scenes. You slammed your head back on the table when the knife slipped; did you injure yourself?”

“No, that’s not what happened.” Nasir shook his head as much as he could in Caesar’s hold, feeling his breath coming fast. Maybe he was confusing what had happened?

“Darling, I promise, if I had heard you say ‘Tiberius’ I would have stopped in a heartbeat. Tell me you believe me.”

“Nasir, did you go down with them?” Naevia shouted over the music, her voice getting louder. “Wanted to see Agron-Nasir!”

Nasir couldn’t see Naevia, but presumably she and Mira were both in Caesar’s line of sight. “Nasir, you didn’t tell me your little friends had come over. And I don’t believe I’ve met this man. I thought we agreed no one would come over without clearing it with me. What if I’d had colleagues coming over this evening?”

“I-“

“Let him go.” Gannicus apparently hadn’t gone down with the others – he must’ve been packing up the dumbbells in the home gym.

“You don’t give me orders in my own home. The three of you should leave. Nasir and I need to have a personal conversation.”

Mira’s laugh was short and sharp, grating on Nasir’s ears. “Right, that’s funny. We’re not going anywhere.”

“You have five seconds to leave before I call the police to remove you. You are trespassing where you are not wanted.”

“Sorry to burst your bubble but I’m an officer. Nasir invited us here of his own volition and we have done nothing to warrant our removal. Now release Nasir before I am required to call in that I have witnessed an instance of domestic violence.”

Shooting Gannicus a dirty look, Caesar did as asked, but he kept Nasir trapped with a carefully placed hand on the dining table. “Darling, why did you ask them here?”

“I needed help packing.”

“Packing? Whatever for? If this is about the scene, Nasir, darling, I swear, the only time you worded out was during the scene where we tried fireplay. I had no idea that you wanted to stop.”

“Bullshit.” Caesar’s eyes flicked up from Nasir’s to glare at Mira.

“They’re lying to you darling. They don’t understand and they think our kinks are wrong.” His words were barely breaths in Nasir’s ear as he leaned over him. “Have I ever lied to you Nasir?”

Nasir shook his head, not really in answer to Caesar’s question, but more trying to clear it, pulling on his ponytail as he looked over his shoulder at his friends and Gannicus, then back to Caesar. Today was supposed to be easy – grab his things while Caesar was at work, leave a note saying they were done, and move on with his life – not this weird fucking standoff between Caesar and his friends. And what if Caesar was right? What if he didn’t actually **_say_** his safeword, just thought he did? He couldn’t blame Caesar for not being able to read his mind. And he **had** been moving around a lot when Caesar cut deep, it really could’ve just been a mistake. What if this whole thing was just a big misunderstanding? Gods, he’d made a **statement** **to the police** about Caesar and maybe he’d made it all up? He’d had a concussion – the doctor and nurses had told him that – he could’ve dreamed it all up, some fucked up nightmare brought on by the stress of nearly bleeding out and a head injury. What if he’d tricked them all into hating Caesar at the hospital, and he’d done nothing wrong?

The door’s chime drew everyone’s attention, as did Agron’s voice, breaking Nasir’s spiral. “That took forever. The front desk guy called a tow truck on us; said he didn’t realize that we had two trucks and a crossover. Oh, wonderful - Caesar’s here.”

“Officer Bauer. Might I ask what you are doing in my home? Do you have cause to be here?”

“Nasir needed help moving and I was happy to oblige. If you want to file a complaint, feel free to speak with my lieutenant. Lieutenant?” Agron had some cocky grin on his face, and Caesar’s was slowly turning red, but Nasir couldn’t look at them, instead training his eye on the doorframe.

Spartacus slid into the room to stand just in front of Agron, Crixus on his other side. “What is it Officer Bauer?”

“I believe Mr. Julius Caesar would like to speak to you regarding my presence here as Nasir’s guest. Would you be willing to take any statement he feels he needs to make while we continue to assist Nasir?”

“Certainly. Mr. Caesar, why don’t we step into the hall?” The moment the door closed behind Spartacus and Caesar, Nasir sunk to the floor, desperately trying to catch his breath and letting out a choked whine when he couldn’t, covering his face where Caesar had held him.

Agron got to him quickest, probably due to his ridiculously long stride, and knelt beside him, hands a hair’s breadth away from his shoulders. Naevia had no such qualms about touching him, immediately crushing him into a hug as Agron tried to even out Nasir’s breathing. “We’ve got you Nasir. Come on, in for five and out for five with me.”

“Crixus, Gannicus, keep packing. We need to go as quickly as possible.” Nasir distantly heard Mira taking control and two looming shadows disappeared as he managed to get enough air to ask his question.

“What if I’m wrong?”

“Wrong about what sweetie?” Naevia pulled out his ponytail, releasing some of the tension on his head, and began to card her fingers through his hair.

“Caesar, the scene, all of it.”

Agron’s sigh, while not necessarily angry, had Nasir curling closer to Naevia as he chewed on his lip. “What did he say?”

“That I didn’t word out.”

“Fuck. Nasir, how sure-”

“Agron, maybe you should go help the others pack. I think I can handle this.” She waited until he’d gone, keeping up the in and out for five that Agron had started with Nasir. “Whatever happened, whether you used your safeword or not, Caesar crossed a line. He should have known better about where he could cut with minimal risk, RACK doesn’t give someone free rein to try shit out without gathering the proper information or taking precautions when playing. And I know you Nasir, you’ve never been hesitant to put a stop to something you didn’t like or want. That dumbass you went on a couple dates with freshman year? The one who got too handsy at movie night in the dorms? You called out that dude in a heartbeat, and in front of everyone. He had a good ninety pounds on you, not to mention being half a foot taller, and the moment he stepped over the line you shoved him off with a very loud ‘I said I’m not fucking you tonight’ if I remember right. Guy left in a hurry and within a week everyone in our year knew he’d been pushing boundaries, and you had a reputation for pulling no punches.”

“Perks of a small college.”

“If you’re not sure you worded out, don’t bring it up to the guys – not unless you’re sure you didn’t. Caesar’s got his story, you’ve got yours, and changing up your statement because Caesar’s getting in your head just makes you look like an unreliable witness. They’ll have to make a note in the casefile, and then if you ever do press charges against Caesar, his attorney will latch onto it like a golden egg.” Nasir hummed, letting her play with his hair for a while before she tugged a little harder to get his attention. “How certain are you that you used your safeword?”

“Before? 100%. Now, maybe 80-85? I remember – I remember wanting it to stop, I think I told him, but he says I didn’t and maybe that's true.” He pressed on the still-healing injury, trying to use the pain to focus on that night. “I’m almost sure I said it.”

“Then forget what Caesar said, at least for now. Feel up to packing up the last few things or do you want to sit on the couch?”

“I’ll pack. I want to go.”

“Good, I don’t want to go through your underwear drawer. We may be close, but that’s too close for me.” Naevia helped him to his feet, throwing his hair into a loose braid before they headed to the master bedroom. Mira had taken over clearing his things from the ensuite and Agron and Crixus were dumping armfuls of Nasir’s clothes into a large box when they entered.

Agron paused, giving him a worried glance before trying to break the tension. “How much clothing do you actually own? Because I think this is a record.”

“Obviously you haven’t seen Naevia’s closet, Agron. She puts Nasir and I to shame. By the way, Crixus, are you actually allowed to hang up anything, or does all your stuff have to fit in a single dresser drawer?” Mira tossed a bottle of conditioner into a box on the bed from the bathroom door.

“Hey, I’m generous – he gets two drawers.”

“One and a half. You took half of the second for your new MMA outfits.”

“Wow, and this is why I am very happy I don’t date women.” Agron tossed one of Nasir’s tanks at Naevia who just flipped him off before folding and placing it in the clothing box.

“You and me both; there’d be no room for any of my things.” Nasir tried to slip into their teasing, to focus on anything but the fact that Caesar just outside the apartment complaining to Spartacus about Agron, who had done nothing but help him during the whole debacle. When his tone fell flat, he grabbed one of the built medium boxes and headed for the chest of drawers, blinking away tears.

“So Agron, are you one of those guys who only needs two drawers?”

“Drawer and a half, Mira.” Crixus folded down the tops of the box and began to tape it up, halting conversation for a moment as the tape holder made horrible squealing noises as it was put to use.

“You were using that half of the drawer for your second pair of gym tennies. Who keeps their shoes in a drawer? I mean, really, who does that?”

“Fucking sociopaths,” Agron supplied solemnly, making everyone look from him to Crixus, and wait for the inevitable shouting match. The fact they’d been in the same room this long without devolving into one was already a surprise given how Agron had reference Crixus during Nasir’s previous conversations with him.

"At least I didn’t hire an escort."

"Hey, low blow. Pietros was a stripper and he was really chill. We dated for a couple months before he broke up with me - at least get your facts right."

"You called me a sociopath and bringing up your ex is a low blow? Gods, you've lost all reason."

"Enough. I believe we're done. Care to take a final look Nasir?" Mira cut them off, Naevia just looked amused at their antics, and Nasir nodded. "Great. Boys, go load up the dolly."

With everyone finally out of the bedroom, Nasir opened the left bedside table, staring at the collar Caesar had bought for him beside a wooden box. Nasir had only worn the collar a couple times, not a big fan of collars like Caesar was, and always thought the thick leather too heavy and wide for comfort. Ignoring the collar, Nasir grabbed the box and a backpack from under the bed before heading to the living room.

Caesar was in the kitchen, holding the letter Nasir had left by the front door. Mira, Naevia and Gannicus weren’t there, apparently having taken the loaded dolly down, but the remaining cops were creating a bit of a barrier between them. “You’re leaving because you don’t trust me? But you trust them? People you haven’t seen in a year, over your boyfriend and dominant? You’re my sub, Nasir – you belong to me. You don’t get to decide that we’re done because of a misunderstanding.”

“Misunderstanding? Whatever the hell it was landed Nasir in the hospital!” Nasir had forgotten just what a roar Crixus had when he was angered, cringing slightly even though he wasn’t who it was directed towards.

“I believe it’s time we leave. Nasir, do you have everything?” Spartacus waited for Nasir to nod before leading Agron out. Crixus positioned himself beside Nasir as if he was ready for Caesar to try something.

“Caesar,” Nasir clutched the wooden box as he dropped his key on the side table. “I would appreciate it if you would lose my number.”

“You’re going to regret this Nasir. One day, you’ll wake up and realize I was the best damn thing in your life and you tossed it aside for some fucking calendar cop fling. And when you try to come crawling back, I’ll have to decide if you’re worth caring about again.”

“Pound sand Caesar.” Crixus pulled Nasir from the apartment, slamming the door behind them, and roughly, albeit not intentionally, dragged Nasir down the hall. and shoved him into the freight elevator. “Let’s get the fuck out of this hell hole.”

“Thanks for helping me, yet again.”

“Stop thanking us.” Nasir fell silent momentarily at Spartacus’ words, unsure if he’d upset them.

“Then can I pay you with booze?” No one said no to drinks, especially with pizza, after a day of moving boxes.

“You don’t have to pay us, little man, alcohol or otherwise.”

“I wouldn’t say no to some beer and pizza.” Crixus appeared to be the only one on the same page as Nasir, but he’d take it.

“Great, then we’re having beer and pizza for dinner, my treat.” If any of the others noticed the slight trembling in Nasir’s hands as his nails dug into wood, and since they were cops Nasir would bet they did, they were kind enough not to say anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m hoping to post chapter 3 on time next Friday – since I don’t usually write explicit sexual content it will be testing my writing capabilities (this chapter was such a beast that I had to finally chop it so there will still be plenty of plot). As always, comments and kudos are appreciated and adored, and flames are used as entertainment. Personal Word of Advice? Don’t drink Clear Spring by itself – it’s practically straight alcohol; this is the type of stuff where your evening goes from fun to alcohol poisoning real quick if you’re not careful. I think it’s actually illegal in some states too, so yeah, not worth it. Stick with small quantities of it mixed if you’re of age and want to try it, and drink responsibly. 😊


End file.
